Each choice we make determines our future and yet each choice we make has been made from our past...
Choices are in this present moment so why do we bring the past into play to make them, and just how far reaching are they in determining our future?
If we look at our schooling, the choices we make on the subjects we take are made based on what we would like to do in the future. They are not based on our past but in our present and the start of building steps into our future. So why as adults do we look at our past, to make choices?
Loosely connected to assuming, the main reason we do this is so not to make the same mistake again but, if it was a mistake and we learnt the lesson from it, then it would not happen again. But bringing it into the present moment recreates it in the present moment and as our brain does not know the difference between what is actually happening and our thoughts, then our brain thinks it is happening and releases the chemicals associated with the event, and the feelings all come back again, and the choice is then made on these false in the now or recreated feelings. Feelings are not rational; they can create a sense of happiness, but they can also and more so do create a sense of pain and unhappiness. Whenever we make a choice based in this pain and unhappiness it is our flight or fight mode which decides the choice, this is our ‘survival’ mode that we do not really require much now compared to our ancestors.
Because this mode decides then it is not a rational choice you make. If you make the choice based in the present moment, then it is created out of happiness and happiness will be created in the future present moments.
If we base the choice on this unhappiness, then the present moment and future present moments are based on the unhappiness.
Which means the choice we make at any given moment is one of happiness or unhappiness, rather than the actual choice itself.
Bringing in past points in our lives can only have a detrimental outcome. The reason for this... Just as with ‘assumptions’ any negative event or happening, negative word or action in our lives connects with our fight or flight mode, to save us from harm. Any positive ones don’t connect but fade into the background.
Due to this, when we make a choice based on our past, it is the memories connected to our fight or flight mode which are at the forefront, this means we don’t automatically have a balanced view of our past events and so our choice is based on negative memories of events.
So why as teenagers do we make choices based on our future, because we have no past events or at least not enough of them to draw upon that are connected to the fight or flight mode.
How do we then make choices in the present moment with a balanced view rather than a negative one?
One answer is to always make any choice based on love and sharing that love and to realise that our past is not the present or the future. Past events are not the same as present events, we only decide in our negative thoughts that they are. It is physically and mentally impossible for them to be the same. The people in our lives, the places we have been and are, the knowledge we have gained, the sights we have seen, what we have heard, all the events and happenings along the way, continually change us, our perspective, our points of view, our thought patterns and our physical body.
In the present moment a choice should be based on our happiness and how we are going to stay happy in the future.
This is called being mindful of oneself and others.
Is the choice you make for your good, is the choice you make for the good of others?
Is the choice you make going to be detrimental to your happiness or to anyone else’s happiness.
Will your choice harm you, or will it harm anyone else?
These are fundamental questions which are made in the present moment and act as steps to the next present moment.
The choice you make now determines your present and then future, not your past, so choices can only bring factual learnt knowledge from our past to help make the choice. He or she did this to me is not factual because as I said, yes it may have happened, but it is attached to your fight or flight mode so the decision will not be a balanced rational one. Only a decision made in the present moment can be balanced and rational because it is made from love and happiness for yourself. If we make a choice purely based on what others think and how it will make them happy and not you then this choice will down the line make you and them unhappy.
The choice we make right now, steers our path in the direction we want to go and along that path we will have further choices to make. If we walk a path and come across a fork in it, we decide which one we would like to take, we don’t walk back and look for the answer only to end up back where we started.
We make the choice and as we walk down the path we chose, we come across a crossroad now we have 4 choices. Take one of the 3 roads or go back to where we were at the fork and take the other road. Going back may be seen as an easy option but as you start back the path is all overgrown and you must begin fighting your way back. The reason it is overgrown is due to all the events and happenings along the way. But we still fight our way back once we have started on the route, this is again our fight or flight mode which says what we know is best no matter how detrimental and negative it is to us.
Once back at the fork, we have less energy, but we take the other road as it is an easier choice. After walking this path for a long time feeling it easier than trying to chose between 3 things, we come across yes, a crossroad. Why or how do we know this, because life will always, always bring us choices and will always have difficult choices.
The effect of going back was that we did not have as much energy for our journey along the path, so we move forward slower, we don’t have the energy to interact with others that cross our path, we start becoming more tired and what happens when we are tired for long periods, our fuse is short, our mindfulness goes, and we almost become selfish and snappy at anything which comes our way. When we get to the crossroads, we are basing our decision on the path we have just walked to arrive here and all that is on that path is tiredness, negative feelings, short fuses, and snappiness. The crossroads become a major choice, one of staying as we are and aimlessly wandering down the path as we have been, or do we decide upon that choice there and then that we are not going to go back and we are not going to look back, but we are going to make the choice to take a path, stick with it and make the best of wherever it leads us, because at this point in time, the present moment we have no idea factually of where it will lead us, smiling at all that cross it, helping all those who cross it that may be faltering just as we did. When we do this, we have those cross our path who have the same love to show and we even join paths whether this is a friend or a lover, after all you don’t want to join a path with someone that is tired, with a short fuse and selfish do you?
The original choice had far reached consequences and it is when we make the choice based in the present moment and on love, that we begin to move forward and feel the love all around us.
So, a choice you make right now will influence your long-term future not just what happens in your life right now. But the choice is made in this right now and not from past events if we want to move forward with happiness.
Many do not think they do this but if your life has unhappiness in it, in the way you live then this is a reaction to a choice you made in the past and could be one you made years and years ago, which had a knock on effect and this would not be at the forefront of your mind, you will only see the unhappiness and lack of energy you have been walking.
“The choices we make are the choices we create”
Create the choices from happiness and love, and in happiness and love and this will give you happiness and love.