Updated: Mar 9, 2021
I wrote this some time ago and posted to another blog, but it is always relevant!
Sometimes assumptions are helpful, through investigations to find the facts, and positive assumptions can be a fantastic tool in our thought process arsenal of goals, but more often than not they can prove unproductive and extremely damaging.
By acting upon our assumptions as if they were true, we construct a reality that does not reflect what's happening in the moment and present reality.
This kind assumptive reality is always based on negativity, and then, on the worst that can and could happen. So the thought process creates a negative reality from the assumptions you have created and ignores all positives. Even the positives that lead up to that moment.
Assumptions are always based upon your own experiences and what you have seen and heard, so in effect living in the past whether that be as a direct act that has happened or other acts which create negativity.
When we are presented with the facts of the moment, which have parts that you want, missing, this is when we assume to fill in the blanks, we join dots that are just not there with an assumption based on ourselves, not real facts.
Assumptions have been scientifically proven to be always wrong. In numerous studies every assumptive thought has shown incorrect, this is why through investigating an assumption objectively you can steer towards the facts.
For instance, if your partner told you they had bumped into an old friend in the street and had a good chat to catch up... The information as it is, is suitable enough. But, if you actually wanted to know more yet did not ask your partner then, you would assume not only what the conversation was about, but also the physical assumptions of gender, of this friend. In this case as you assume what the conversation was about, you begin to include subconsciously your own experiences, if at one time even 20 years ago you bumped into an old friend that you 'fancied' even a little or even chatted with a friend with guilt, or you've been in a relationship that has, then suddenly your assumptions of your partners encounter would be seen as the same without you realising where the thought has come from. To assume more and to vilify your first assumptions you'd question in your mind of, why did he/she not actually tell me their name... Followed by, It must have been the opposite sex. Suddenly through assumptions you think your partner is willing to hide this person and what follows is possibly an affair, then assumptions have you think, they are having an affair.
You see how assumptions can create a false reality and how they can slowly build up and control your thought process. Had there just been simple communication whereby you asked your partner more detail, you probably would be answered with the opposite to your assumptions and given or shown facts.
Many thousands of relationships unfortunately end due to one thing... Assumptions, they build and snowball into bigger things, creating momentum until someone or something breaks.
Base your thoughts on the facts of this moments reality, the positive moments, by accepting the assumptions are there but not to be acted upon. Once the assumption is accepted as there, you are able to ask the questions calmly to gain the facts and remove the assumptions, which are replaced with a fact based thought. Don't forget to accept them facts and not discount them in favour of the negative assumptions purely for self preservation.
As I said earlier, assumptions contact dots that are not actually there and this causes anxiety. This also contributes hugely to depression.
The main reason I've touched on assumptions is because, they are also the bases of what is holding you back...
You assume you can't change.
You assume that every door is closed.
You assume it'll never be good for you.
You assume it will never work for you.
You assume you are stuck.
You assume you'll never be comfortable.
You assume your partner has done something wrong.
And the other way, you assume what you're told, what you're reading is fact, but assuming this only has you see or hear what you want to see or hear and not the entirety of what you hear and read.
And so on and on...
Your assumptions are a false reality, which are just thoughts in your head... We then use these assumptions to make and create excuses for our thoughts.
We are able to change the thoughts in our own heads because, they are just that, our own thoughts.
Our thoughts are based on our own personal experiences through life, not only that which has happened to us personally, but also what we see and hear and usually it's the negative that pushes any positive into the back of our minds, because our brains are naturally wired to follow the negative due to fear, for self preservation and ease.
With this in mind, seeing and hearing...
We could also hear something negative that has happened to a friend, this will be imprinted in our subconcious, so in the future it will be used to create an assumption.
As long as we live in the present moment and ask the questions required to fulfil our personal want of facts, then assumptions will be removed. If whom the questions are asked of, is not willing to give the answers to enable us to fill in the blanks then, so be it. There is no need in your life or your thoughts to gain them facts, unless it is something that will hurt you and if it is then that person should not be in your life, or you take what they say with a pinch of salt, accepting that's how they are.
Bare in mind also that assumptions are blinkered, they create a focus only on the thing they are assuming about, and disregard the immense positives and and factual information that could be with anyone or everything else in front of you.
Love and Light to you all